Miyazaki-Ken

Just a short note for those of you wondering about our progress with Japan.

I have received my location placement: Miyazaki-Ken

It was not one of our choices, but close. 

We are still waiting on Matt's placement...but if he ends up with the same one it looks like we will have seafood and surfing to look forward to.

Matthew Moment #1

Matthew: Hey! Why did you log off my facebook?

Me: Sorry. I didn't know you were using it and I wanted to check mine.

Matthew: Grrrr. I was in the middle of a survey, now I have start all over again.

Me: Was it really that important?

Matthew: Yes! How else am I supposed to find out if I'm a Jedi or a Sith?

How Not to Sell Newspapers

A representative from the Star Tribune called me today asking if I wanted to sign up for a weekly subscription to the newspaper. I was honest with him and said that we don't really read the paper at all. When we do feel like catching up on local or world events we use the internet. Then I added that we would be moving in a month anyhow, so it didn't make much sense. 

"Where are you moving to?" asked Newspaper Man. 

I knew right away that he was going to  try and sell me the whole 'We Are Available In All Parts of Minnesota' schtick.

So again, I opted for the truth. 

"Actually, we're moving to Japan. I'm not even kidding."

"Really?!"

"Really."

"Wow" he replied. "That's great! Hey, here's an interesting fact for you. Did you know that Japan has a population of 1.3 billion people compared to the US population of 300 million?!"

For a moment I thought to myself that I would let that one go, that I wouldn't be that jerk, that idiot, who calls you on something brilliant that has just poured out of your mouth. 

But I couldn't resist.

"Actually, I'm pretty sure that it's China that you're thinking of. Yeah, China. Japan's population is only about 120 million people."

"I don't know" he said,  "I'm pretty sure I heard the official statistic during the last Olympics."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was China that had the Olympics last year, but Japan has hosted them as well a few years back." I added that last point to make sure that Newspaper Man didn't feel too embarrassed. 

We proceeded to chuckle over this quaint conversation we were both having, and in jest I bet him that I was right.

He told me that when I get to Japan, I should drop him an email to let him know.

"How 'bout you just google it" I said to Newspaper Man.

"That's not a bad idea! It would be much faster than waiting for you to fly to Japan. Hey, maybe I'm wrong, maybe it is China that has 1.3 billion people. It's still a lot of people though. They must be all crammed into little huts and living like animals."

He didn't actually say that part about the animals. I added that in there for effect.

The 'huts' comment though is totally true. 

"Yeah....soooo...we won't be needing a newspaper. Really. We get pretty decent information over the internet. But thanks anyhow. I totally appreciate your time."

Lesson to be learned from Newspaper Man:

If your going to try and sell a product, use it yourself and make sure it works.

Zoo-topia

Weekends at our house are ridiculous.

Matt works hard all week and by the end of it, he just wants to come home and spend a couple days resting, reading and relaxing. I, on the other hand have been pulling the three R's all week long and by Friday night I am ready to do something...anything...so long as it is out of the apartment.

This past weekend I was starting to go a little stir crazy and I let Matt know with some subtle gnashing of teeth that I needed out of our cave. 

So he took me to the Zoo. 

The Como Zoo is free, so it totally fits into our recreational budget. 

It also fits into just about everyone else's budget too, so the place was packed out with crazies from all around town. 

Yes, the Zoo was a bit of a Zoo, busy with kids and moms and dads and other random unidentifiable family members.

Like any Zoo I suppose.

When we were in India, we visited the local zoo's. They were pretty sad. Small cages and stir crazy animals pacing around their quarters with wide, crazy eyes. They had these signs up all around the property that would tell people not to make loud noises to try and catch the attention of the animals. Of course no one would obey the rules (It's India for crying out loud, you can't tell a billion people to be quiet!) 

I thought our experience at Como would be different because it was a western zoo, with western zoo principles. That was not the case. The only difference I could tell was that there were no signs telling people to shut up and stop roaring at the tiger...so of course, there were lots of roars, and even some meows. Poor tiger. The cages were only a smidgen bigger than the Asian Zoo's we'd frequented. The park itself was almost identical in layout and structure to one we visited in Trivandrum. So much for western progress. It also looked like the animals here were suffering from the same type of dementia we'd seen in caged creatures abroad. They would pace around their quarters looking for a way out. They seemed desperate to leave. So what do we do? We roar at them. 

There were a couple moments of inspirational awe.

The first were the two silver-back gorilla's. What was shocking about them was how human they were. Large, powerful beasts with hands, just like us, picking grass with their fingers, sitting on rocks upright like they were sitting on chairs, munching away. They mostly kept their backs to us, and I felt that they did that very intentionally. Their body language spoke volumes: " We know you are there, but we really don't care much for you. Why won't you just go away?" Occasionally, the male would glance up and look straight at you. You had a feeling that you should be looking away, but all I could do was stare at his massiveness, straight into his eyes and think "this gorilla could rip my head off without the least bit of effort."

The other inspirational moment I had was at the snow leopard cage. There were 2 of these cats and they were SO gorgeous and incredible. What made them even more amazing was their rarity. There must be less than 5000 of them in the world. When Matt and I were in Pakistan, we would often hear about the elusive creature, native to the mountains, who was slowly going extinct because of poaching, but also because of the Taliban. I'm not even joking. The war in Pakistan and Afghanistan  has encroached on this animals natural habitat and it is slowly losing its home. We even met a Pakistani trekking guide who became excited at the thought of having seen one alive in his lifetime. This was a man who had been leading treks through the mountains of his country for decades, and the only one he'd ever seen had been captured by a research group. He had never seen one in the wild. 

Back to the zoo. 

I was having a special moment with the snow leopards. They are different from the rest of the cats in the joint. They have a peace and calm about them and are the only animals I observed who weren't pacing around their confines looking for a way out. I think they are smarter than that. They know there is no way out. So what were they doing instead? Eating grass, licking each other and one came over and took a piss right in front of us. Incredible. And as I was sitting there, watching these majestic animals doing their thing, I was rudely interrupted by "Hey Ricki! Come on over here and get a load of the Cheetah's!!"

Cheetah's?

Cheetah's!

I wanted very badly to turn around and yell:

"For God sakes woman, it's a SNOW LEOPARD not a cheetah! Have some respect, will you! There's only 5000 of these guys left, so the least they deserve is to be correctly identified! I mean, can't you read the sign...it says right here in large bold letters SNOW LEOPARD!"

But I didn't. I didn't want to become part of the human zoo that was gathering around us. Kids screaming, beer guts jiggling, moms getting pissed off at dads, and all of them roaring at the poor tiger.

We zipped through the rest of the park quickly and breathed a deep sigh of relief to be out and away from all the people. I'm sure that's how the animals feel around closing time. 

They are probably very happy to be rid of us.

Make A Run For the Border

After spending a week at my parent's place waiting for my passport to be returned from American Immigration, and then another week sitting around waiting for my flight back to Matthew, I am finally back in the US of A. The flight home was a bumpy one, but in the end I got here in one piece. A fitting analogy to the adventure we have been through trying to accomplish something as simple as living with your spouse legally. 

Just for the record, no, I am not an American. My status is officially 'Permanent Resident', also known as 'Alien Resident' (I'm not even kidding...I even have an Alien Registration Number). This means that I have to fulfill a bunch of requirements before I'm allowed to stay. If I fulfill them within a certain period of time, then I will be granted Citizenship. I feel a lot like a home appliance from Walmart. As long as I don't break down before my warrantee is up, then they can never send me back to Customer Service.

The first week here was exciting.

Matt treated me like a sack of potatoes during the Irish Famine (ie. like GOLD).

Things haven't changed too much though, so I fell back into my normal routine of eating/sleeping/web-surfing quite naturally. There are some small adjustments that I have made to my daily schedule.

a. I'm forcing myself to wake up earlier so as not to waste the beautiful daylight hours.

b. Every day or so I go through my Pimsleur's Audio Japanese Course. Sumimasen! Eigo ga wakarimasu ka?

c. I am looking for some short term work before I leave for Japan. It's not easy. 

In the meantime, I am back volunteering at the Steeple People Supply Store, sorting, pricing and drinking lots of the free coffee. (Please people, when donating clothes to organizations, leave the dirty underwear out. If you won't wear them, no one will.) 

With summer here I'm more focused on food then ever. I've pulled out all sorts of cookbooks from the library, and I make trips to the grocery store just to drool over the produce section. Finally, local green things are pushing their way out of the ground and I don't have to solely rely on California or Florida to be the source of my salad. Matt seems unaffected by the current seasonal miracle of asparagus and artichokes. Brats and burgers was his main source of nutrition while I was away and he doesn't seem to be breaking with that trend now that I'm back. Obviously, we have a hard time grocery shopping together, but there are always occasions to celebrate. On-sale scallops made it into the cart this time, along with some olives and a juicy, juicy mango. Hmmmm. Now all I have to do is figure out how to cook scallops.

I should be off. The landlord is coming to inspect the apartment this morning. Apparently it has already been rented, so we are out of here by June 30th!!! Woot! Woot! Summer change is here.

Korean Tektoniker Dances Outside The Box

Thank You CBC Radio 2

Driving home to Peterborough from Montreal was a real pleasure.

6:30 am. Beautiful light. Time to think. And CBC Radio 2, straight from Newfoundland.

It was a great opportunity to catch up some new Canadian content that I've missed over the past few months, and other cool bits and pieces.

This is a taste of what my morning sounded like, for those of you who are interested:

Great Lake Swimmers new single:

Yael Naim

 

Glen Campbell (I had no idea this was his song)

When Things Finally Start Going Your Way

When things finally start to go my way, I always feel like I shouldn't tell anyone because I just might jinx it. 

Against all my better judgement, I will share with you my good news.

As of Monday morning I became 'Green', as in the US Immigration Services granted me my Green Card.

Two years later. 

Thank you.

I am pretty sure they can't take it away from me at this point, but no wait.

Silly me, now I remember reading the fine print. 

It said "You are still not American, so we reserve the right to do whatever the hell we like."

Right. Got it. Thank you. I won't forget this time.

Jest aside, I am very grateful for this opportunity, and even more grateful that this process is drawing to a close.

After all the hoopla and working myself up about the Embassy Interview, not to mention working up all my family and friends about the whole thing, it all felt very anti-climactic. A friend of mine actually cried real tears when she heard the results. I on the other hand felt like I just finished watching a long anticipated film that turned out to be nothing special. Sort of like the new Star Wars episodes. 

I don't feel like running through every detail of the day.

I've been living 'details' for the last 9 months and I think I am becoming either tired or bored of them. Possibly both. 

Sign this. Date that. Reread. Copy. Understand. Reformat. Send. Attach. Don't smile. And pay, pay, pay.

Here, instead, is my short version of Monday mornings US Embassy Meeting, which I think is just as good and gets the point across well enough.

1. 7:30am Embassy doors open.

2. Airport style security in the lobby of an inconspicuous building.

3. First in line.

4. Alone in the large waiting room on the top floor of inconspicuous building.

5. Feeling like all of a sudden I am in the Matrix.

6. Called to the desk.

7. Collection of documents.

8. Told to wait. 

9. While waiting, watch poor Indian man being belittled by dominatrix immigration official. 

9a. Thank God I didn't end up with Dominatrix Lady.

10. Futuristic finger print taking with futuristic fingerprint taking device.

11. Lots more waiting.

12. Raise right hand and swear to God you are not a terrorist.

13. Show us the money!

14. Tsk, tsk. Shame on you for visiting your husband too much.

15. Approved!

My tension levels were up and down throughout the whole morning. 

I walked in there believing I wouldn't be approved. 

Then I got very confident. 

Then I saw Indian Man get shut-down by Dominatrix Lady and the confidence levels became more realistic (ie. lower).

Finally, when I was being interviewed any self-assurance I had left hit the floor. Seconds later I was approved.

What a mind-job. 

Thankfully the staff at the embassy were professional and kind (at least the people I dealt with were). 

It was nothing like dealing with customs officials at the border.

Now I have a little bit of waiting to do before I fly home to my nutrient starved husband.

Apparently he is on a high-gluten diet.

Pizza and beer. 

I'm almost positive that there hasn't been anything green in the house for weeks. 

Just wait t'ill I get home to him. Not only will I have a 'Green' Card, but fresh veggies will once again prevail!

And also, I can finally get cracking on that intestinal cleanse i've always wanted to do.

I bet he just can't wait.

Going Green

Tomorrow is the moment of truth.

Tomorrow I go where no sane person has gone before.

Tomorrow I venture into the dark side.

Tomorrow is my Green Card interview.

Send a prayer up for me!

M.

If only I was a war-bride or a mennonite, life could be this easy.

The Clean Bin Project

I'm looking forward to this documentary when it comes out:

Examine This!

If you ever want to know what it feels like to be put through a bureaucratic meat grinder, just try immigrating to the US and then at the same time apply for a job in Japan.

Today mom and I drove into Toronto for my 3rd doctor's appointment in less than one month.

#1 was for a tetanus booster required by the US government.

#2 was again for the US government, proving I was void of all plagues and infestations.

#3 was for the Japanese government, also reassuring them that I'm clean as a whistle and that my body is in fact pneumonia-SARS-madcow free.

It crossed my mind that maybe I should have just asked Japan to talk to America, cause America already did this whole health inspection routine thing already, and it would save me time, Canada money and we'd all live happily ever after.

But no, it doesn't really work like that, does it. I admit, the idea of two world power's actually sharing practical information with each other almost borders on the absurd.

Most of my Japan Health Exam is over with, but there are a couple loose ends to tie up. I have yet another trip to the doctor next week. I have to get a urine sample analyzed. 

I will also have to do something about my pulse rate because the doctor forgot to note it down on my health form. This, I only figured out after driving the 1.5 hours back to Peterborough. Against my not-so better judgement to take my own pulse and fill in the blank, I plan on calling her tomorrow and somehow remedying this situation. I may have to make another trip back for her to put her fingers on my wrist and tell me that yes, I'm still alive. 

In the meantime, while I wait for just the right opportunity to pee into a tiny little cup (whose tiny size guarantee's I will almost certainly get most of my urine on my hand, and not in the cup), me and the parental units are headed to Montreal with the huge x-ray of my chest to show to staff at the US Consulate. Of course, that's not the only thing they will want to see from me, but it's far more interesting than all the other official documents and proofs of marriage I have to deliver.

So if you believe in prayer, pray for me this weekend, because Monday I'll be sitting in the most important interview of my life thus far, and it's going to take a lot more than just a cool chest x-ray to get me through it successfully.

When I Grow Up I Want to Be Ken Tanaka

So the big news is in! 

After much begging, Japan has graciously granted me a position as an assistant teacher. 

Possibly they are taking pity on North Americans who have degree's but can't find employment in their own home country.

Whatever their reasons, both Matthew and I are excited and looking forward to once again being foreigners in a strange land. 

But so many details have yet to be worked out. 

MORE paper-work filed, packages mailed, passports stamped, money spent. Oy Vay! 

The paper pushers are going to love us! And the red tape has already begun.

Apparently there is some law in Japan that states you can't import more than 1 months supply of medication or prescription drugs. Contact lenses and birth control are included in this requirement. 

But of course, there is a detailed form we can fill out to the Japanese Embassy, and likely a fee that we can pay to clear customs. 

I'm not surprised. In fact, I'm incredibly not surprised. 

Two years dealing with two separate governments and their bureaucratic junk has left me numb to anything short of aliens landing in my backyard.

In any case, in celebration of our recent acceptance into the JET Program, I thought I would introduce you to Ken Tanaka, as it a small dream of mine to meet this Japanese legend. His insight into Japanese culture is indeed inspiring.

Medi-Truth

There are a ton of misconceptions about Canada that get spread around in the US, equally as many as the ideas we have about Americans. The more time I spend south of the border, the more the opportunity rises to speak to friends and family about "what it's really like" on the other side. Hands down, above all else, they want to know the skinny about our Universal Health Care system. I quickly began to realize how little I actually know about the Canadian system. Truthfully, I don't think most of my peers know much either. 

What really needs to be known? 

We get sick, we go the hospital, we get treated, we go home.

We do pay for our health care though. How much? 

I have no idea. I let the government do the math. So far my taxes haven't prevented me from buying groceries or paying the rent, or shopping at Banana Republic.  

Obviously paying for health insurance through my taxes hasn't hindered my lifestyle.

Before I met Matthew and before I was spending months at a time in the US, I really took our Universal system for granted.

This last trip back to Canada though, I almost opened my wallet and kissed my Health Card. 

Possibly, this is the biggest difference between Americans and Canadians. 

Not that we are friendlier or smarter or that they are fatter or more war hungry (my time in Minneapolis has definitely disproved some of these myths) but that Canadians are possibly healthier. Statistically speaking we do live longer and have a lower infant mortality rate. That must stand for something. Or maybe we just have one less thing to worry about.

One less very big thing.

The US has an excellent level of health care, that I know for sure.

It boasts some of the best doctors and medical technology in the world . Wether or not someone like myself or Matthew could be treated by those doctors, I'm not sure. Even with insurance. And that's the shocker. 

Anyways, all this to say that I'm on a personal mission to get some straight facts. Yes, I do believe that Universal Health Care is the way to go, but I'm open to hearing the downside of it as well. 

I know it's not perfect.

I know that it has been abused. 

I know that some Canadians want something better or different. 

But I don't think we are about to turn to the US for suggestions. 

I found this on YouTube, which was incredible, because there were so many people spewing Wikipedia facts on there justifying the American Free Enterprise system, but none of them were medical officials. 

This was the only medical representative that I could find who had real research and experience under her belt that I really trusted.

The Saga Continues

Most Toronto friends know that I'm back in town prepping for my Green Card interview that is coming up in a couple of weeks. I'm back for a little over a month because Matt and I decided it was better that I come home as soon as possible and for as long as possible.  I have never been turned away from entering the US, but the last couple of crossings have been rather intense and one officer let me know that I was getting 'dangerously close' to being turned away.  That's their way  of saying that 'You haven't broken any laws, but we still don't like you'. Fair enough. I appreciated their warning and took it seriously, so I'm home a bit earlier than necessary.

The last week or two has been spent gathering a few documents that I was missing for my Green Card Interview. The interview will be held in Montreal, and I will need to provide lots of paperwork that proves our marriage is legitimate and that Matt makes enough money to support us both. Part of the process requires that I have a medical exam done. This is no ordinary medical. You can't go to just any doctor. It has to be one commissioned by the US government, and there is only one such doctor in Toronto, and maybe four across the whole country. The medical is done to show that you don't have any dormant plagues living in your body, like Tb or Syphilis. I'm not sure why they care, because unlike the Canadian government, the US has made it clear that they aren't paying for any of my medical bills. Every man for himself, I guess. 

I had my medical a couple days back. The whole experience was like being put on a broken assembly line. You show up at 7:00am and you sit in a packed-like-sardines waiting room for 40 minutes before they call your name and steal $275.00 from your wallet. Apparently this medical is considered 'elective', even though you have no choice but to take it, so you pay out of pocket for it. Then you wait. Then they call you again. Chest x-ray. Wait some more. Sign this permission form. Draw your blood. Wait. Sit naked in the doctors office with one of those embarrassing, backless paper robes on for 20 minutes. Answer a series of quick medical questions. Look in your mouth. Listen to your heart. Breast check. Quick look down under. Done. I walked out of there at about 10:30am, meaning I spent 3.5 hours in that office, but really only about 20 minutes being inspected. 

20 minutes of US approved medical care = $275.00. 

Thanks, but I much prefer the Canadian system of waiting around and paying nothing for it. 

I pick up my sealed results next week, and with that my Green Card Application will be complete.

 The only thing left to do is head to Montreal and face the music. 

Facebook vs. Blogger

I have royally sucked at keeping this blog updated, and I fully blame Facebook. 

It has sucked all the creative writing out from my frontal lobe and replaced it with Digi-Pet feedings, virtual Scrabble and list upon list of 25 Top this or that or the other thing.

So, it's decision making time. I told myself today that it was one or the other. 

One of them had to go. 

Blogger vs. Facebook. Tough battle. 

I thought I could make Facebook something more meaningful by deleting all my 'friends' who probably wouldn't notice if I deleted them (if that's you and you've actually noticed, well that's what you get for never 'liking' any of my profile comments). 

In any case, it still doesn't feel intimate enough. It just feels sort of mindless and very detached from my real friends. 

Plus, I miss getting real emails, with details in them, and full sentences. 

So, much to my own surprise, I will finally be liquidating my Facebook page.

I have not decided on a specific end date, but it will be announced soon. 

Suggestions are welcome.

If you are reading this, make sure to bookmark this page and take note of my email address in the info section of Facebook. Maybe you could even ask for my phone number and we could call each other! 

That's a novel idea. I still have a landline, so it will be an even more authentic communication experience. 

I know, I know. I've promised before that I would be a better blogger, and I've failed you with months of silence and the occasional empty diatribe.

But that was because Facebook was in the picture. I swear!

It took me falling for Facebook (again) to realize how stupid I was to let such a wonderful thing go.

I'm a changed woman.

This time it's really over.  

This time I'm all yours. 

Promise.

-The Industrious Ant.